So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
