haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
North Korea, Best Korea!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
