Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
