Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
