So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The Olympian is in my bed
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
