oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
