i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
