I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
