Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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