Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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