His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
