She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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