I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
