i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
