from now on my penis is your penis
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
