After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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