she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
