The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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