she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
