i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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