This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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