Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
