Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I could fuck to npr.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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