She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
