i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
