God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
