I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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