I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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