My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize