Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
