chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
