4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Randomize
