I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
the raccoons are back...
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