I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize