Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
as a side note pls kill me
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