so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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