Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
