Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
