the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
