Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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