he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
