I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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