dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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