i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Be still, my beating vagina.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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