My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
