Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
