I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize