your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
