it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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