You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
