Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
