Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
