They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
