Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
