i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
