Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wish you could order shots online.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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