Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
