Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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