Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
