Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
