Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't turn off my feet"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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