And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
